Периодически я очень люблю Иоанну Хмелевскую))

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И, разумеется, Терри Пратчетта:

'Oh? You'd like a vampire queen one day, would you?'
'Had one once, in Lancre,' said Granny conversationally. 'Poor woman got bitten by one of you people. Got by on blue steak and such. Never laid a tooth on anyone, the way I heard it. Griminir the Impaler, she was.'
'The Impaler?'
'Oh, I just said she wasn't a bloodsucker. I didn't say she was a nice person.'

'That's a familiar voice,' said the vampire. 'Are you a Veyzen?'
'Yessir.'
'Related to Arno Veyzen?'
'Great-granddaddy, sir.'
'Good man. Killed me stone dead seventy-five years ago. Stake right through the heart from twenty paces. You should be proud.'
The man in the crowd beamed with ancestral pride.
'We've still got the stake hung up over the fireplace, yer honour,' he said.